What is a childhood memory that still haunts you?
I was about 5 or 6 and I was woken out of a sound sleep late at night when our dog was barking like mad and I could hear my brother and mom in hurried whispers in the room next to mine. They were trying to hush the dog and talking about someone who was creeping around outside our house, and something about his face. I can't recall if it was simply a 'weird' face or if they said he had a scary mask or face paint on.
So, in typical kid fashion, I freak out. I start crying, loudly, and they tell me to stay where I am, to which I respond with a prompt crawling under the blankets and crying louder. Then I hear them talking about this guy hearing me, and how he's suddenly at my window.
I'm assuming he just wanders off after a little bit because I don't recall anything actually happening.
Despite having never seen the face, my mind came up with a variety of images that continue to haunt me, the main one being the general person - a nondescript face - staring into my window. Another face is just one with a series of twisted lines painted around his features, with a mean expression behind them.
This memory has brought on recurring nightmares of various people looking into my windows and then seeing me. That's usually when I wake up, with my heart racing.
*updates*
This is me, updating. So. Uh. Hi! :D
Things are going fine... quite normal.. but, the weirdness of the month is... daughter is getting almost (I said almost!) normal again... son is now quiet, moody and secretive... super duper, another pre-teen... I'd like to fall into a coma and wake up in 10 years ;)
But, enough of that.. this is way more fun... Stick Figure Animation
Please, download and play.. it's gigantic amounts of fun :)
And my husband.. the anti-videogame-person has decided that we need a Wii. Who am I to argue *G*
Happy Mom's day to my friends who are moms.. and also to those who don't have children, but have an innate ability to be the nurturing, lovely people that they are. I was up early, per usual lately.. again, not sleeping more than 4 or 5 hours a night..
I'm having this pillow issue.. I need my head to be level with my body and while I always start out in that type of a position.. by the time I'm asleep (and apparently flailing about like a maniac).. the pillows fall away.. by the time I wake up, my head is lower than my body, I feel like Batman and I've just hung upside down to sleep.. head pounding, congested.. once I get up and my body realizes I'm not longer upside down.. everything calms down.. so, I must either ATTACH the pillow to my head.. or something.. I'll figure it out.. and I'm not sure if the barometric pressure has anything to do with it, it's been humid, etc..
Anyway! My daughter made me a card (that looks store-bought.. so creative, if only she could use her powers for good and not evil), which was very thoughtful and my husband gave me a bouquet of tulips (because I likes them). I'd like to know how my little incarcerated friend is able to send me a Mother's Day card.. I'm hoping he didn't have to trade a day's food for it, or something equally creepy (sounds callous of me *g* but.. he would laugh.. they do have a commissary of some type.. I'm sure other incarcerated peoples have moms and wives that are moms)
I'm torn between laying in bed all day watching LotR (all of the extended versions) or... going out to the movies.. I don't think I want to go out anywhere.. a bit hermit-y of me, but.. that's just how I feel lately.
And after checking my LJ to clarify.. this is my 5th anniversary on LJ.. weird.. so long, seems like only 4.5 years :P
I hope everyone has a lovely day.
I've just left Chris.. which was sad, because I wish I'd had more time to spend with him. He's lovely and sweet; I kinda already knew that, but, being with him assured me I was correct! It's one of those times I wish I didn't have familial obligations but alas, I have made my own bed ;)
We wandered around this outdoor plaza, which is really nice and he made me drink tea! (no, not really, I drank it willingly!) It was good, and very nice just to sit and chat.
I'll ring him later and harass him, though, now that he's in my area code *G*
Let’s see.. they arrive Thursday evening. There’s this place in Buffalo called Bocce pizza and it’s… the best friggin pizza ever. Well, they will overnight a half-baked pizza anywhere in the U.S. You just finish baking it and voila.. fresh Bocce pizza from home. You can’t get decent pizza around here.. and once you have Bocce, you can’t just eat Domino’s, Pizza Hut or Papa John’s. They suck. I’ve had Bocce pizza overnighted to us *g* Well, my parents brought down a few pizzas and Rick has a turkey fryer so we made loads of chicken wings. It was really nice to see everyone.
My mom comes in and hands me these bags of things.. she made me potholders.. bought a pan for me. And my sister brought stuff to make margarita’s but I told her I didn’t have a blender and my mom brought one for me! I told her I have to invite her down to my house more often… jeez.. I lived there 39 years and didn’t get stuff like that!
On Friday, the guys went golfing and the ladies came over to my house with the kids and we colored our Easter eggs. (meanwhile, the day before, I hard-boiled 4 dozen eggs and made two large pots of homemade spaghetti sauce). While they dyed eggs I got everything ready for vegetable stuffing for dinner that night. It’s something that my husband’s family has with Thanksgiving dinner. White potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots and peas. They usually cook in the bird, but.. we were frying the turkeys.. so, I cooked it on the stove and then in the oven… literally all day.
That night we celebrated my son’s birthday. It was two weeks ago and we knew everyone was coming down for Easter, so we didn’t go to NY for his birthday. He was a bit upset, but we did some fun stuff on his actual birthday and got to have a sleepover.. he was okay. I asked him what he wanted for his birthday dinner when everyone was in town (he turned 10). He says… can we all have our own Cornish hens? Uhhh… no, I’m not buying 20 cornish hens.. how about I make hens for you and your cousins and the adults will have turkey? So, I did a turkey dinner with all the fixins.. more food organization..
And to top the weekend off, the weather sucked ass. Last year, we were out on the back porch most of the time. Both my brother and brother-in-law are allergic to cats.. and we have one *g*. We tried shampooing the rug and the furniture, but, the cat lives here… her dander is all over. Luckily we have a finished basement and a big television. The guys sat down there and watched hockey most of the time.
On to Saturday… the ladies went into Richmond (two hour drive), to Carytown.. it’s this strip of shops and restaurants.. and a nice big chocolate shop. It was Easter weekend and I had nothing for the kids’ baskets! The kids went to the hotel and swam in the indoor pool all day. We shopped for a few hours and went to this great place called the Galaxy Diner. Everything was outer space-like.. The Knock-Me-Up, Scotty! Lunch which was fried pickles and ice cream on the side. The chocolate shop was crazy but I was able to get Galaxy chocolate! (how funny that the word Galaxy comes up again… I didn’t realize that before!) Galaxy chocolate is from England and I've never found it around here.
Oh, did I mention I gave up chocolate for lent? I did it.. there were some nights when the family was asleep and… I knew there were chocolate cookies and such.. and that devil would appear on my shoulder… EAT IT! NO ONE WILL KNOW!… and the angel…. Don’t do it… you can wait!… (notice the devil shouts and the angel whispers).. but, I refrained. I lived through it.
Back to Saturday.. we got back and everyone was at my house already! Rick was preparing his famous (not really) barbeque pork.. I don’t particularly like it, but others say it’s great.. so, he made that and we cooked hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill.. That night, I waited until my son was asleep and then snuck downstairs to make baskets.. and then I hid the eggs. Usually I make the baskets for the kids and keep a stash of leftovers in a bag for myself. I hide the bag in my bedroom and no one is the wiser… this year, I forgot to take the bag into my room. My son found it in the morning before I got up.. so when he found his basket.. he noticed I had the same candy in my bag by the computer.. he was a bit quiet most of the day and I’m pretty sure he’s figured it out.. but, he’s 10.. it’s time… I just feel badly.. finding that out kinda sucks.
I remember when my daughter found out.. her world was blown.. here were her parents drilling it into her head that lying was bad.. and she finds out that her parents and every other adult in the world has been lying to her all these years… she’s a math/science person… she wants the facts.. and she was pissed! It was sort of the catalyst that started her bad behavior…
I was up early on Easter morning, preparing 200 stuffed shells and putting a ham in the oven. We also had mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, salad, baked beans… dude, I have never had to organize that much food for that many people! Some people came last year for Easter, but not all of them! By the time dinner was over, my sister-in-laws told me to go rest and they’d clean the kitchen. It was very kind of them. And as an entrance to Easter dinner, I asked them all to bring me a can of Tim Hortons’ coffee from home.. so I made some coffee and sat and finally visited with everyone.
We got homemade pies from this local restaurant, Mrs. Rowe’s.. fantastic southern cooking. We got apple and chocolate cream.. I had planned on making some desserts, but I just couldn’t get to it. Anyway, that about sums up the weekend. Now it'll be quiet again for another year. Next weekend I'm going up to Buffalo with just my son. Between his teacher passing away and the VA Tech tragedy... it's my mom's birthday and we're going to surprise her and show up *g* I need to get away, if nothing else, to get away from my daughter and her behavior for a few days *nods*
Until the crazy starts... my sister's family and my parents will arrive around dinnertime. My older brother and his wife will arrive late tonight, and their son and his girlfriend will come from NC late tonight. My younger brother and his wife and kids will arrive tomorrow, along with my older brother's daughter... It's a total of 21 people..
*hides*
No really, we're very excited to have company again and I just wish the weather would cooperate.. it's going to be cold this weekend! Albeit warmer than Buffalo, but still, cold! And of course, they act like it's our fault.. they've been grumbling about how cold it will be... get over it! Dinner tonight will be Bocce pizza that my parents are bringing from Buffalo (they half-bake the pizza and wrap it.. so you only bake it for 10 minutes.. and voila! pizza!) and homemade chicken wings.. tomorrow is turkey and all the fixings for my son's birthday party.. Saturday is barbeque pork sandwiches with hamburgers and hot dogs.. and Sunday will be stuff shells, ham and loads of vegetable dishes...
We'll be coloring Easter eggs with the kids tomorrow.. that should be fun *G* My daughter has a whole scavenger hunt planned for the kiddies on Easter day... There's so much to do! The ladies are supposed to go shopping in Careytown on Saturday (warning to Cosmo! I might pop in! My sister looooves bookstores!)...
So, if I'm not readily available this weekend, my apologies, but I'll still be checking everything :)
Well, I was screened out of the interview for that job, which means I won't be called for an interview. They go through the applications and check off the criteria needed for the job and then see who has all components. There was one thing, working with the automated budget tracking software, that there was no way I could fudge that or hint that I knew it. The sucky part is that with it being software... just show me how to use it, and I'll be fine.. but, oh well.. they have a system and that's what they use with every application. They also received over 100 applications for the position. The HR woman told me that if they allowed me to interview, they would have also had to include 12 other people who were only lacking that one thing and it was too many. I was just getting a little excited and ahead of myself, which I shouldn't have. It's all about the expecations... if you have none, then you're never disappointed. Happy birthday to my son yesterday.. he's now in the double digits! We didn't go up to New York to celebrate it because they're all coming here in 2 weeks for Easter and we'll party then. But, he was a bit bummed out about it.. he got screwed out of day off school.. they were supposed to have yesterday off for a 'staff development day', but because of the snow days they used, they had to take that day away. So, I emailed the local news show.. and he heard his birthday announced on the morning news.. that was cute. He got a Nintendo DS and some games... we went out to dinner last night at his favorite local place. Then his 2 friends slept over.. I should get an award just for that ;) Today is my 17th wedding anniversary... I don't think we're doing anything special.. we just went out to dinner last night *g* Maybe we'll get some surf and turf for dinner and eat it here :) I'm in a quandry about what to do with myself.. I have all these plans to go to England in the summer.. and.. I can't help but think that the money I'll be using could be better used in other places... I feel selfish for using it just for me and not for a family vacation.. I just wish it wasn't an issue at all and I could do I what I wanted to for once and not constantly worry.. that was the thing about that full time job.. I'd be bringing home double what I do now and... I probably could have done it without much trouble.. *waffle* I hate money; it's the root of all evil. The thing is, too, I've been going to counselling and.. if I want to step out of my hermity self.. I need to make decisions about my time allotment and what I'm willing to do. And more importantly, for my own peace of mind, what I'm willing to put up with... it's all just seeming a bit overwhelming these days.. enough so that I end up doing nothing.. and then getting agitated with myself for doing nothing.. so I continue to do nothing. It's a bad cycle and I want it to end. Didn't mean to sound so complainy and whiny! I really am fine, just.. thinky the past few weeks. *hugs everyone*
What is one of your favorite poems?
Submitted by marvel is my pen name.
"Trees are the kindest things I know;
They do no harm, they simply grow.
And spread a shade for sleepy cows,
And gather birds among their boughs.
They give us fruit in leaves above,
And wood to make our houses of.
And leaves to burn on Halloween,
And in the Spring new buds of green.
They are the first when day's begun
To catch the beams of morning sun.
They are the last to hold the light,
When evening changes into night.
And when the moon floats in the sky,
They hum a drowsy lullaby
Of sleeping children long ago...
Trees are the kindest things I know."
-- By: Harry Behn
Yeah. I'm a deep thinker. ;)
Then, of course, there's the fun, tangle of words in this folklore poem. As I know it:
"One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got in a fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot one another.
One deaf policeman heard this noise,
Then he killed those two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie that's true,
Ask the blind man; he saw it too."
Seems there are two whole stanzas that I'd never heard, too. hehe
Really, I do...
Do I want to work full time?
On the one hand:
I really like my hours right now, but the job... it makes me a little nutty to know I may not have anything to do all day and have to *appear* busy and *find* things to do... I like my boss.. he's a great guy and we get along very well. I love having one day off a week. But, in a couple years, my daughter will be off to college and my son will be a teenager and won't care if I'm around or not *g*
On the other hand:
A full time position opened in another section.. it will be very busy and the two people who run that area are very demanding.. however, I've always found that with demanding people, if you do your job, well.. there's no problem. Also, the head bossman is from Buffalo and is good friends with my husband because they discuss the local sports teams, etc.. not that THAT means I'd get the job, but, more that I already get along well with him.. I think that his and my work ethic would coincide.. my pace would match his, for work purposes *shrug* But, it would be full time.. no more days off during the week.. however, I would have vacation days, personal days and a load of sick days..
Also, I would probably bring home double the money that I bring home now... in a couple years, perhaps another job would open that is similar.. but do I want to give up this opportunity to get my foot in the door....
*waffles*
I just hate making decisions for my life *g* I've not proven to always make the right ones... the deadline to send over my interest is March 5th... *thinksthinks*
